Confusing Moment Of The Week

So here I'm sitting, watching you fall, and I'm down on my knees. The tears are spilling, my face is blank. I'm blinking at your bitterness, stuttering at your warm heart. How can your heart be so warm, but your words so cold?

See, here's what happened. A friend of mine, whom I will rename MellonHead, is becoming something that isn't him. His words are so bitter, so empty, but his heart is so warm and loving. What happened to him? MellonHead and I have been best friends for a while now, and I never believed in pressing anyone to figure out what is on their minds. If they wish to tell me, they will. So I haven't pressured him. But his intentions are clouded, I can see through the fog though.

I can't tell what I should do. I'm guessing I should leave it be, and wait to see what happens. I mean, he used to be so cheery, so optemistic, and all of a sudden, literally over night, he became so cold. I won't speak for his other friends, but I'll speak for myself. I feel as though there's something holding him back from becoming who he used to be, I mean, the way he's acting is so, heartless. He acts more like an enemy than a friend.

But because MellonHead is so close to my heart, I can't tell what I should do. I'm torn between talking to him about it, leaving it be, or asking him about what's going on. I mean, I don't know. I can't try them all, can I? But I don't want to sit and say "What if I had.."

So I'm guessing that brings me down to two roads I could take. Talking to him or asking about what's going on. I've never been one to pressure people, so I'm guessing I should talk to him about how I'm feeling. It seems simple, don't it? But the fact is, I'm not so much concerned about his reaction or lack thereof, I'm more worried about what I would say.

Say what I feel right? But what do I feel? I've always had a problem with saying what I really mean. And this is one of those times that it really counts, and I don't want to screw this one up, because I only have one shot at this, and I want to hit the bullseye. But I'm not too sure if the arrow is straight. Am I really doing this for him? Or for me?

There's so much that's confusing me, and the more I think about it, the more I feel like I'm doing it for myself, but then again, more for him. And that leads me to think "Psh, who cares who I'm doing it for? It's got to be done, that's all there is to it, right?"

Sadly, I don't want to do this just for me, and I do want to influence change, but only if he's willing. It's so confusing! It's frustrating. But I'm sure he'll come to the decision he means to, and if he doesn't, I'm sure he'll try to fix that. But for now, I think I'll end up writing what I'm feeling, but I'll ask a friend of mine, Bruno, to help me out with how to decipher what I really mean.

--Supervixen